Updated: Jan 20
The Beetles and Walk Disney's would have you believe that love is all you need. The real truth is it takes so much more to make a relationship work.
Now before you run for the hills and start packing a bag for you or your other half. It is also important to point out that done right a relationship with your significant other will be rewarding, comforting, will lift you up on a good day and hold your hand on a bad day.
So how do we make it work?
There are some clear fundamentals to getting a relationship to work. In my opinion, the most important thing is communication. I say this as someone who permanently lived with three in previous relationships. Me, my other half, and a very large elephant that occupied the room at all times. But that has changed for me, it took a while for me to grasps but, I'm so pleased I have. It has improved my relationship with my partner so much. I don't think I'd ever want to go back to the 'elephant' days! Healthy communication should be honest, open and said with kindness.
Outside of communications, I say commitment comes next, without being totally committed to each other you will struggle when the tough times come, speaking from experience it is all too easy to walk away if you aren't committed to one another. This doesn't have to mean marriage if that's not your thing. But it does mean you are in it for the long haul.
Compassion is another fundamental of a healthy relationship, you need to have compassion for yourself and your partner. The opposite is contempt and, that is super ugly in a relationship. Remember you love this person and opening your heart and letting them in will help to understand them better. Only when we truly understand one another can we hold the space for them.
You must be able to trust each other. If you feel the need to check each others messages or are suspicious about your partner, this is a red warning something isn't right with the relationship. Ypu have to have trust.
Humour and fun are also vital in a relationship. Having fun when you can is critical, especially as there will be difficult days, weeks and sometimes months. Humour can lift a bad mood, take the heat out of an emotionally charged situation, and help remind you what you love about each other. Fun is one of my values, I know I need this in a relationship for it to work.
Being in love can be the most painful things in the world but, if we start on the right level and ensure we have a healthy relationship, it will be the best thing you have ever encountered. It will be dizzy, time will stand still when you are together and, you'll feel so deeply about each other no matter how close you are, you'll always want to be closer.
Now, who doesn't want all of this in their relationship? It is possible and achievable. It's all in your gift! But if you are struggling, then don't suffer in silence, your problems won't miraculously disappear. Get help, get support. You are worth that investment. If you need help get in touch, at inflori we deal with all kinds of dilemmas, there is a wealth of experience and support available. You can follow on Instagram or Facebook for tips and inspiration. I wish you the best of luck finding happiness and love, life is to short not to shine brightly.