Updated: Jan 20, 2021
As a relationship coach, I work with so many clients who are struggling with a life of unhappiness. Often they feel deep sadness and overwhelm with no idea where to start or how to get out of the situation they are in and fix life.
Sometimes this can go on for years, they tolerate an awful situation and toxic relationship because they feel they have no options, they feel they have no choices. They may have dreams and wishes but that's where it stops.
They often don't want to 'rock the boat' for fear of being alone, rejected or feelings of failure. So they stay in unhappy, loveless relationships. According to a study by health.com, people can stay in unhappy relationships for over 36 months. That three years of despair, feeling unsettled, drained of energy and unsure of the future.
Thoughts that come to mind when considering leaving the relationship, confronting things or making a change are "I need to stay because" or "I wish I could but" .... all the time placing a negative belief in their subconscious that limits them and keeps them stuck.
What if I told you there was a way to transform this? What if I had a trick to turn that thought around and challenge you to look at it a different way. What if I told you this would boost your energy, lift your mood and help you take control and make positive choices. Would you be interested in know more?
I hope you said yes, otherwise, see ya, thanks for getting this far.
There is a way to turn things around. Imagine you feel stuck because you have two children together, you are no longer sure what your relationship is and if you even still love each other. Perhaps you tell yourself I need to stay because of the children, there is no other way. It feels very draining huh!
Instead, take the thought and replace "I need to" with "I want to because". "I want to stay together and make it work because I want my children to grow up in a loving and connected family. If we do end up parting, I want to do this in such a way that my family remains connected."
How does the switch shift your energy and focus? Suddenly the possibilities are no longer limited but have opened up and you are faced with the hope that things could be different.
Let's take a look at your dreams, you might say "I wish I could have a happy marriage", this again feels like it's an impossibility, unachievable or unobtainable. Try switching this to, "how can I have a happy marriage?" Suddenly you are looking for opportunity and possibilities instead, ways to make it work, ways to get the life you want.
If you feel trapped or stuck and you are faced with unhappiness in your relationship, start asking "how can I" in the context of your challenges ...... or swapping "I need" for "I want to because" you may be surprised by the results.
At inflori we deal with all kinds of relationships dilemmas, there is a wealth of experience and support available. Please get in touch if you would like any support. You can follow on Instagram or Facebook for tips and inspiration. I wish you the best of luck finding happiness, life is to short not to shine brightly.