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Embrace Hope: It's Not Time to Give Up on Your Marriage

At the lowest point in a relationship, most people would give up. 

The weight of your relationship presses down on you. The laughter, the warmth, the feeling of being seen—all buried under mountains of hurt and disappointment. Giving up seems like the only way to escape the crushing weight. 

The relationship you thought you'd have forever feels like a distant memory. You struggle to recall the happy moment you shared at the start—a lighter side that is now missing in action.

In the past, a shared glance could flip your tummy into somersaults that rivalled an Olympic gymnast scoring a perfect ten. With the knowing smile and secret code you transmitted, your thoughts were almost symmetrical. You felt safe with each other and could share anything, including your most embarrassing stories. You always had time for each other above any other priority. You looked forward to spending time together, the thought of it occupying every fibre of your being.

But you haven't given up yet, have you? Because somewhere, deep within, a tiny ember of hope still flickers. You remember the love that built this relationship, your shared dreams, and the laughter that echoed through your home. You haven't walked away yet because that ember refuses to be extinguished.

And neither should you! This is the time to dig deep and explore why giving up isn't the solution to your problems. This is the time to shine a light on your relationship. All parts, the good, bad, and the ugly. It's time to take action and no longer settle for something you know isn't working. It's time to stop avoiding the fear you might break things further as soon as you lift the lid and see what's happening below the surface. Sounds terrifying, I know!

Most of my clients feel the same way you do—unhappy but strangely comfortable with life's discomfort because it feels too difficult to process any other alternative. You might be unhappy, but I'm guessing this still feels safe. In the same way, picking a scab feels weirdly satisfying, even though you know you are delaying the healing process.  

What you want right now is a magic wand.  We've all been there. You want to save your sanity and relationship and magically step into a time machine searching for your special relationship's happy place. Even at your lowest point, you have the strength to keep fighting for your relationship and bring back your dynamic duo, the special sauce that has kept you here for so long.

You may feel like another force is out to get you, sabotaging your relationship and keeping you on shaky ground, free from certainty. There is, and it's called negativity bias; your mind is hard-wired to seek out those negative aspects of your relationship while simultaneously washing the good stuff down the drain with the dirty dishwasher before you can absorb it. 

You have one thing: you still have hope. This hope reminds you that some people have happy relationships; they still look at each other with a special glint in their eyes that's been with them for the last 56 years! You know it is possible, and it is. All you need is a single step, one small action, to start countering the negative bias that exists for all of us. You need a new lens that refreshes your sparkle and wonder again. 

Try this one thing to kick-start a reverse of your pesky negativity monster. Every day for the next week, take a moment to think of two or three things that you would miss about your partner or your relationship if it were to end tomorrow. Your first reaction might be nothing, and that's understandable; the negativity monster has your mind well-trained. Let's look at it another way to get you started. 

What aspects of your partner's presence enhance your life? 

It could be their sense of humour, kindness, or shared interests. By focusing on these positive aspects, you may discover elements you genuinely appreciate and would miss if they were not a part of your life. It's all about rediscovering the gems that sometimes get overshadowed by daily challenges.

Commit to the exercise for a week. Watch how the negativity monster shrinks. From here, you can build on the strengths you hold in your relationships that may have been forgotten or buried. Start taking the small but significant steps your relationship needs today. 

In my years working with couples, I've seen countless embers reignited. Each story is unique, but the message remains the same: love is worth fighting for. So, don't give up. 

Keep hoping. 

Keep trying. 

Your story could be the next one that inspires others.



Whether navigating the honeymoon phase, battling a rough patch, or dreaming of a fresh start, Geordie Lass & Doc Sass are here to hold your hand (virtually!). We've got the tools, tips, and sassy spirit to help you reignite the spark and build a relationship that rocks.

Join us each episode for raw, relatable conversations about love, life, and all the messy-beautiful bits. Listen today.

Don't settle for a stale romance!

Your relationship journey is unique, and your happiness matters. Whatever you need, we've got you covered. We're here to guide you every step, from a Relationship Health Check to a transformational Relationship Reset, or go deep on a personal level with dedicated coaching sessions (book a call to find out more)

P.S. Curious about your emotional superpowers? Take our Self-Awareness Test and unlock the secrets to deeper connections with yourself and the ones you love.

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