This is a very common question clients ask me when they come to see me and work with me in my healthy relationship coaching practice. My question back to them is, "what do you think?" Generally, the reply is "I'm not sure but I think so". I tend to agree otherwise you probably wouldn't be seeking support.
So I guess the answer is, if you are asking the question, you probably know the answer.
I am sure it's concrete answers you are searching for though so let's see how I can help.
I'm going to share with you some key warning signs that will help you identify if your relationship is in trouble. I'm going to use the energy influencer framework from IPEC to help explain this. If you'd like to know more about this sign up for the self-awareness test to discover more about yourself and where the energy influencers are impacting your relationship.
Spiritually you aren't connecting with your partner, you rarely talk about anything that isn't transactional or surface level. You are struggling to remember why you got together in the first place. You aren't sure you even share the same values or have the same view when it comes to the future. It feels like what you both find important is so different now.
Emotionally you feel drained, you are experiencing highs and lows in your feelings and emotions, with more lows than highs. You feel like your needs aren't being met, the relationship isn't making you happy but this is hard to express this in words. It's so difficult to make sense of what's going on for you.
Physically there is a distance between you even when in the same room. You rarely spend time together and intimacy is suffering or non-existent. You are struggling to sleep and eat (or maybe you are eating too much out of comfort), you feel restless and don't quite know what to do with yourself.
Mentally your mind is a mess, it is working overtime. You are second-guessing yourself, your partner and your relationship. You are fearful of the future and it's exhausting going over things in your mind so much. There are so many things to consider and the chatter in your mind is constant.
Socially you don't seem to connect anymore when you do spend time together it's forced, strained and expectation takes over. You no longer have fun and spark joy and happiness within each other.
Environmentally there is an atmosphere, a black cloud or an elephant in the room. You are never quite sure what you are walking into to but you can feel an undercurrent in the air. It feels like a permanent finger in the ribs.
If you are experiencing any or all of this I know how tough this feels. If you recognise any of this, you know your relationship is in trouble. I'd encourage you to get help. There are some further articles you might like to read:
I know how challenging relationships can be and how exhausting it is when things don't feel right. It is emotionally draining and you can feel so alone. Don't suffer, if you need support make the first step, and start today, with a no-obligation chat. I'm sure you feel better once you say things out loud. Coming soon is a relationship reset online programme, in the meantime, you can sign up for the signature 1 to 1 coaching programme if you are ready to start today, book a call to find out more, the first session is on me!
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