In my last blog, Is my relationship in trouble, I shared the ways you can tell if you are slipping into or are already in the danger zone in your relationship. The article highlights some of the things you may experience if you are in the danger zone. In this blog, I'm going to share with you how to find the courage to move out of the danger zone. There is a process, which involves moving through the stages below.
Stage 1 Awareness
Awareness is the foundation for change. The first step to finding the courage to move from the relationship danger zone is to be fully aware of where you are, how this makes you feel and the impact this has on you and your relationship. Are you tolerating a poor situation and not stopping to think about what's happening and how this makes you feel emotionally and mentally. Pay close attention to what is going on both internally and externally.
Ask yourself:
What am I feeling?
What emotions am I experiencing?
What thoughts am I having?
What effect is this having on my mood and energy levels?
How healthy does my relationship feel?
Through reflection and asking some of these questions you will develop greater self-awareness.
Stage 2 Acceptance
After awareness, if you move to acceptance. The aim is to accept, without judgement, yourself, other people and situations, this will allow you to move to conscious choice. Without this you may remain fixed in the past, seeking to change it, fighting against what happened and resisting change. You may catastrophise and place meaning on what's occurred in an unhelpful way.
Stage 3 Conscious Choice
Once you can accept yourself, others and the situation, free from judgement, you can move to a place of conscious choice. when making a choice you want to do so purposefully and not out of fear. Staying in the moment and not being led by fear of the future. This can be tricky to master without support. It requires objectivity and a strong foundation from the first two stages in this process.
Stage 4 Fearlessness
This is a big part of moving out of the relationship danger, along with the first three stages, fearlessness will help you to take action. Fear is the anticipation of a negative outcome. What you fear hasn't happened yet, and is only an anticipation of what might come. This fear will hold you back from making a change and taking action.
It is natural for you to want to stay in your comfort zone, it feels cosy and warm but when you're in the danger zone that comfort comes at a price. The price is your ability to be happy, experience joy and have a healthy relationship based on trust, intimacy and support for one another. If you don't want to tolerate the things you are putting up with, continuing to feel drained, get in touch for support to help you make a change and find the courage to move out of the relationship danger zone.
Coming soon the Relationship Reset will help you to step back in your relationship and views what's happening.
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I know how challenging relationships can be and how exhausting it is when things don't feel right. It is emotionally draining and you can feel so alone. Don't suffer, if you need support make the first step, and start today, with a no-obligation chat. I'm sure you feel better once you say things out loud.
Don't forget to tune into the weekly Podcast Geordie Lass and Doc Sass for all your relationship hot topics and questions, on all major platforms. Episode 22 is all about having a better relationship with yourself check it out.